Many parents expect their children to listen, follow rules, and behave appropriately. Obedience might seem like the goal of effective discipline. But while obedience creates short-term compliance, it does not always lead to long-term self-control.
Children who listen when a parent is present may still struggle to manage frustration or make thoughtful choices when on their own. Self-control, by contrast, is the ability to pause, manage emotions, and make more deliberate decisions.
Understanding the differences associated with self-control vs. obedience can help parents move away from power struggles and focus on building skills that children can use in a variety of situations.
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Source: Self-Control vs. Obedience: Helping Children Build Skills

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